The Gap Conundrum

A co-worker shared some slightly life-altering, devastating  shocking, first-world-problem, news with me at school the other day.

But first, the backstory:

Y’all know Rachel, right?  Rachel of Mom Jeans and Long Butt fame?  I’ve professed my stalker-ish love for her before but just in case you forgot, here’s the scoop: Rachel writes probably the funniest blog I’ve ever stumbled upon over at Grasping for Objectivity.  While I enjoy all her posts, I especially love her posts about jeans.  It all started when she explained what mom jeans were and how to avoid the dreaded long butt and showed how much more flattering your backside can look in the right jeans.  Then she showed us more great examples here, discussed the epidemic of mom jeans on babies here, lamented maternity mom jeans here,  shared more denim miracle makeovers here, gave some denim fitting tips here, discovered the horror of mom jeans amongst our presidential candidates here, and tackled the issue of how to find great plus size jeans here.

I await every post of hers with anticipation, knowing that each one will result in a reaction somewhere between a big smile and a laughing-so-hard-tears-roll-down-my-face.  I especially look forward to the jeans posts because they are hilarious and informative…I learn something else about finding great jeans each time.

So the day her post titled “An Inconvenient Gap of Truth” popped up in my Google Reader, I proceded to read with much excitement.

But then I read something.  Something that chilled me to the bone.  Rachel said that Gap and Old Navy jeans were gateway mom jeans.  Wait, what?  Gateway mom jeans?  But I am a tried-and-true Gap jeans wearer!  Does that mean I, who routinely make fun of mom jeans, might be committing that very offense myself?  May it never be!

I felt crushed.  Devastated.  Gap Long and Leans are literally the only jeans that I’ve ever thought looked good on me – both at my smallest weight and at my largest (that being about a 40 pound weight range).  Vastly different sizes, yes, but still the only jeans that I thought were flattering. (Let’s take a second, though, and discuss the name, as I am not that long at 5’7″ and certainly not what anyone would call lean, so I’m not quite sure how jeans named Long and Leans fit, but anyway…).  You know which ones I’m talking about…they show up in just about every What I Wore Wednesday post except in the hottest parts of the summer, sometimes multiple times a week, so you’ve seen them a time of twelve.

(you know…these)

I panicked a bit.  I mourned over this information.  And then I did it.  I took a picture of my rear in said jeans and emailed it to Rachel.  Yes I admit it, I sent a picture of my backside to someone I only know via email to examine and critique.  The things we do for fashion.

Anyway, the results came back positive!  Rachel confirmed that I was in fact one of the lucky few who could wear Gap Long and Leans without looking Mom-jean-ish!  I was so relieved!  I could continue wearing my trusty jeans without fear of long butt.  What good news!

So that brings me to what my co-worker told me.

I was wearing the aforementioned Long and Leans on our Friday casual day.  My co-worker walks up to me while I’m doing my morning car rider duty and casually says “you know they don’t carry those jeans in the store anymore, right?”.  I was shocked.  Incredulously I peppered her with questions to make sure we were talking about the same jeans.

Gap?  Yes.  Long and Leans?  Yep.  No longer in stores?  You got it.

After she mentioned it, I remembered that I had popped in to Gap the previous weekend and very quickly glanced at the jean section.  I hadn’t seen the Long and Leans but I didn’t think anything of it, I just figured they were in a different section of the store.  Now I know.

The jeans that Gap has had since I was in high school are no longer sold in stores!  I adore these jeans.  In fact, I had recently found out that Gap sold Long and Lean maternity jeans and I had that nugget stored in the back of my mind so that someday when I need maternity jeans I would know just where to go.

The semi-good news is that they are still sold online.  However, I’m deathly afraid that this is only temporary and eventually they will stop selling them altogether.

I blame Rachel.  Yep, that’s right…Rachel, I blame you.  It is my belief that your expose on Gap and their gateway mom jeans has caused such a loss of business that they had to quit carry certain jeans in stores.  Are you proud of yourself?  Huh?  Huh?  I bet you’ll see it in the news soon, maybe titled “Mommy Blogger Single-Handedly Takes Down Denim Empire”.  Look for it soon in a newspaper near you.

Now I feel an irrational urge to order a ton of pairs in several different sizes (you know, for *someday* when I lose those extra pounds), and horde them away for the years to come.  That seems a bit excessive, but what can I say?  I love my jeans.  You may find me clutching my jeans to my chest and crying on the floor of my closet soon.

And that, my friends, is today’s devastating news.

(Oh, and Rachel…if Gap ever does quit selling them online and I have to look elsewhere for jeans, you just be prepared for me to come down to good ‘ole Alabama so you can take me jeans shopping.  I mean, after singlehandedly ruining my wardrobe, I think you owe me ;).

What I Wore Wednesday

Let’s talk about cardigans.  I love them.  Do you?  I used to think cardigans were totally grandmotherly or *ahem* for librarians (cough, cough).  But then I realized just how wonderful these little pieces of clothing can be!  Of course, they are great for winter as a sweater-alternative, but I’ve recently discovered them for the warmer months, too.  After buying my first short sleeved cardi (the gray BR one in the last picture) and wearing it to death, I realized I needed to add some more of these babies to my wardrobe.  So when we went to Gatlinburg in the spring and I went shopping at the outlet malls, I saw that Loft had their cardigans for buy one get one free.  So I got four.  Excessive?  I was a little afraid it might be at the time.  But you know what, now I wish I had bought more.  I wear them all the time.  You might have noticed the turquoise and purple ones from past WIWW posts, and you can see the coral and pink ones in the following pictures.  Not only are they perfect for layering, but I really like the cut and think it’s slimming.

I just love how I can toss one of these over a sleeveless shirt and make it totally work appropriate!  Plus I’m always cold so this adds a layer of warmth to my clothes without being bulky.

What about you?  Are you a cardigan fan?

Wednesday or Thursday (how terrible that I’ve already forgotten!) – work

cardi/Loft outlet; shirt/Banana Republic outlet; pants/Kohl’s; shoes/Maurices

When I bought the coral cardigan I just knew it would match the BR top perfectly, it took me forever to get around to finally wearing it and I can’t believe I waited so long!  I love this combo!  Expect to see it again because I’m already envisioning it with a pencil skirt and heels for church.

Sunday – church

dress/??? the brand is Scarlett, I think it bought it at TJ Maxx or Stein Mart or Marshalls or a similar type store; shoes/Loft

I actually almost added a cardigan over this dress before church on Sunday, but then stopped myself since I seem to wear one everyday, but now I sort of wish I had…it looks a little boring in this picture and could have used a pop of color.

Monday – work

cardi/Loft outlet; top/Loft outlet; skirt/Goodwill; shoes/Maurices

Tuesday – work (actually I was at a training all day and not at school, hence the jeans on a non-Friday)

cardi/Banana Republic outlet; top/Banana Republic outlet; jeans/Gap; shoes/Qupid via Rugged Wearhouse (Gabriel Bros)

And on a semi-related note (to jeans, not to cardigans), I’m happy to announce that my jeans, though they are from Gap, are not mom jeans.

(Rachel from Grasping for Objectivity, one of my favorite bloggers, recently revealed the earth-shattering news that Gap and Old Navy are guilty of procuring mom jeans…fortunately I’m one of the few who has the right body type and is able to wear them without incident…whew!)

If you haven’t read about Mom jeans and the dreaded long butt, or checked to see if your Gap and Old Navy jeans are guilty of this too, read these links NOW!  But not while you’re drinking anything because you’ll choke from laughing so hard.

Linking up to What I Wore Wednesday